Never alone in love

Merry Christmas Eve to those that celebrate & Happy Holidays to all!

It is a strange thing to be here all alone, no pants on, sipping coffee, with the uber creepy version of Disney’s A Christmas Carol playing in the background. In fact, I tried to be more festive and bring in a Christmas tree that the previous tenant left on the porch… Well, that ended with me screaming bloody murder because a spider tried to destroy my life and now I have to burn my new apartment down. V unfortunate.

This little glimpse into my spider phobia is all to show you that the hardest adjustment I have had since my move to Alaska is living alone. That’s right… It’s not the small island, or the new job, or not being near friends or family, but actually, physically, living alone. I’ve never done it before and never wanted to. I know, y’all are calling me a freak right now. I’ve heard it all before. “Living alone is great, Sarah! Embrace your independence!” Sure not wearing pants is great and only worrying about my own dishes is fantastic, but like when I wake up who do I tell about the crazy dream I had? Who is going to partake in some wine drinking with me after a hard day at work? (because drinking alone is just sad.)  Who do I complain about on the phone to my family? An age old tradition for even the roomies you love the most because no matter how smelly their farts are, you love them all the same. Who will laugh at dumb commercials, awful amazing rom-coms, and tripping over absolutely nothing? WHO WILL GET RID OF THE SPIDERS?

And it is especially apparent during the holidays that I live alone. No awkward gift exchanges with anybody! I relish in giving gifts to my roommates, never really knowing if I got them something they liked. That process ends up taking up like two weeks of my brain space. Now, I just have two weeks to think about… other things? BIZARRE. It helps that the people here are beyond friendly and I’ve been invited to like several holiday dinners. I feel grateful in that sense.

Who am I kidding? I feel grateful in a lot of senses. And while I could spend this whole post telling you about the woes of living alone, and trust me it would be oh-so thrilling, I won’t do that to y’all. Instead, what I am going to do is make a list, because what is more appropriate than a list for Christmas? Except instead of a naughty or nice list, or a list for Santa, i’m going to dive into the past; a list of some of the Christmas gifts I have received that make me feel surrounded by love, even when I am alone, with no pants, drinking coffee, watching creepy Christmas films.

  1. Barney Chair/ plates/ silverware – Pretty much all things barney as a kid
  2. An iPod Nano – blue, because pink would’ve been too girly
  3. Family dinners
  4. A bratz doll from my godmother, Aunt Jody, who is no longer living, but I think about all the time.
  5. Copious amounts of letters from my Aunts and Uncles
  6. My friends
  7. Jewelry, that I inevitably lost
  8. The invention of FaceTime/Skpe- I know this was not specifically a gift for me, but it really helps me out during the holidays when I am away
  9. Food on the table every Christmas
  10. My health
  11. Many white Christmases in Wisco
  12. Christmases spent with my Nan and Poppy, Rest in peace.
  13. The memory of living in NYC during the Christmas season
  14. The families I work(ed) with
  15. It’s a Wonderful Life aka my favorite Christmas movie
  16. The Holiday aka my second favorite Christmas movie
  17. Pictures drawn by the wonderful children I’ve worked with throughout my life
  18. Framed photos of all the magnificent people in my life
  19. Traditions
  20. Orange in my stocking
  21. Cards where money/gift cards fall out- especially those Starbucks gift cards #basic #holla
  22. Cards signed, I love you
  23. Games
  24. Many, many Christmases to come
  25. Life

I could put 10,000 more on this list, because I have been blessed Christmas after Christmas, heck, day after day, but I have a very busy afternoon ahead of me. And by that, I mean I am going to cook some quiche, watch more Christmas movies, perhaps squeeze in a run, perhaps put on some pants, and later go to a Christmas town event.

& Yeezy bless us, everyone.

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