I am deprived of sleep, food, water and motivation. Forgive me Yeezy, for I have gone to a work conference. Since I hate skipping days, but have zero thoughts of what I would like to write about I am going to do a re-post from my previous blog of one of my favs. I hope you enjoy it. I will return with your regularly scheduled, up-to-date blog post next week.
‘I know we have all done this, some of more than others, but it is widely known that all people stare at themselves naked. If we didn’t stare at ourselves we wouldn’t be able to recognize changes in our bodies and that, my friends, is bad for science. Something particularly beautiful happened to me today as I stared at my naked body. Well, I guess I am getting ahead of myself. Let me begin with the basics of naked staring. I bet if I took a poll at who looked at themselves naked, everyone would say “Yes! I do!” If I took a second poll from that 100% and asked “how many stare at their body and don’t like what they see?” I am guessing that number would be around 70%. Maybe that is an exaggeration, but from all the remarks I hear on self esteem I can’t imagine there is a large number of us who like our naked selves. I know I was part of that 70%. The worst part is I would be thinking about what others would think… about MY NAKED BODY. I would sit there and think to myself, “no wonder I am single, look at me”. How fucked up is that? First of all, if we picked our significant others based on how the naked body looks to us we would all be walking around naked, all the time. I could join a nudist colony if I wanted that. Also, have you seen naked men? I enjoy them keeping it in pants. Those things just fly all over the place! I wouldn’t be able to go to the grocery store without fear of getting stabbed by their pork swords… Second of all, I never thought to wonder what Ithought of my naked body. This is where the beautiful thing comes into play. I am standing in front of my full length mirror and I stop for a second and think “damn, I look good.” In fact, Meghan Trainer came into my head. You know, ‘all the right junk, in all the right places’.
It was like I saw my body as my own for the first time. The best part was that it had nothing to do with my weight loss. Even if I hadn’t lost a single pound yet I would have been able to really look at myself. I saw the way my body curves and sags and bends. How fucking cool is that? My body was my own today, for the first time in a really long time. I didn’t ponder over what boys would think or how I would compare standing next to Natalie Portman, I was just looking at me. I can’t describe to you how therapeutic it is until you discover it yourself.
Today, I watched a video on upworthy.com about diets and how they are controlled by capitalism. I know it almost sounds like a conspiracy theory, but it was actually pretty valid. In the video she made a lot of really good points. The best point being the fact that we blame ourselves when diets don’t work. We see ourselves as the failures vs. the diet being the failures. It echoed around in my brain, “failure, failure, failure” *light bulb* “Wait, I am not a failure?” No, I am not and neither are you. Okay, I guess I don’t personally know everyone reading this, but if you have any experiences like mine via addiction, I am guessing you are not a failure. When I looked at myself in the mirror I realized everything I thought I knew was so very wrong about humans. We are a goddamn piece of art. If you put us all together with all of our shades and shapes and thoughts, we are the David of sculptures. The Northern Lights of the sky. We are pretty amazing.
Love thy naked body. ‘
-Reposted from wiscocheesefries.tumblr.com [Feb 8th, 2015]